2 months

…and 2 months from now it should be the end of the A’s. 1 month from now will be the start, and from now till the end of A’s i’ll have to put in my 100%. Prelims were a disaster, it’s something to be sad about, but it can also be something worth rejoicing about… at least it was just the prelims and not the A’s, at least i have a clear idea of where i’ve gone wrong, and at least i am granted one month to work on my errors. It’s not going to be easy, i never thought it was easy. but if i never try, i will never succeed.

After 2 months, i want to be back here posting about the feeling of conquering a’s… that exact feeling i’ve last felt 2 years ago during o’s. I don’t want to be back here complaining and crying over spilt milk. This shall be my short term goal for now. My long term goal remains the same… get into medical school. It is going to be very very tough. but this is what i want. I love challenges. I love competitiveness. I’ve got nothing to lose anyway. So bring it on, next 2 months… and the next 2 years!

Always remember… In Christ the Solid Rock i stand, ALL OTHER GROUND IS SINKING SAND! I know i will never be alone in this battle

post-prelims

Prelims were disappointing.

I don’t think i’ll be able to look at my horrible results, but on the other hand i can’t wait for it to be released so that i know where i went wrong. Either way, it’s going to be a sad sad week next week. If i fail GP again i’m so going to sign on for the navy man.

Pre-prelim expectations: ABACD (bcme, gp)
Post-prelim predictions: EEBEE (same order)

Shit la i need to find a breakthrough. How how how HOW!?

“The brain loathes uncertainty. In laboratory experiments, humans actually fear uncertainty more than physical pain. We are simply wired this way.” I’ll have to agree 100% with that.

Season run-in

3 more days.

Almost done with economics. ALMOST! Just BOP and all the policies. Okay it’s quite alot, but i’ve got time tomorrow night before the spurs-manutd game

OH MAN I HAVEN’T STARTED MATH YET. 40 over chapters. ok, minus 10 cos i’m not going to study stats, p&c and probability since its just paper 1 on tuesday. OH MAN IM SO HYPED UP. It’ll be interesting and satisfying to finish revision just on time, right before the exam starts.

For the next week, it’s going to be crazy. After this week i should be more relaxed. CAN’T WAIT FOR PRELIMS AND A LEVELS TO BE OVER.

PS shit i sound so damn mugger

seven days

“And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made.” Genesis 2:2

God created the heavens and the earth in merely seven days. Actually, more accurately, he created everything in six days. He even had time to rest on the seventh day. God give me 1×10^{-10000000000000000000000} of your strength! I desperately need to finsh the entire econs and math syllabus in the next seven days :/

I just took an hour and a half off my studies to watch Randy Pausch’s Last Lecture. It’s inspirational stuff, and now i’m on fire.

Times alone like showering (and sometimes shitting) are the best time to reflect. Like literally, look at yourself in the mirror and say, “Gordon, what have you done today? What have you achieved in the past 18 years (and 13 days)? What are you going to achieve in the next 18 years?”

It is definitely important to have a goal. But it is even more important to want your goals, making sacrifices and working towards it, even if it seems hard to get. (what’s life without challenge? the harder the more thrilling!)

I have set high goals for myself, and achieving it in the past. There’s no reason why i should give up now, not when i’m still 18, not when my lungs’ breathing, heart’s beating. I know it’s late but, TIME TO START STUDYING.

Day 97

so fast 97 days already.
so far so not so good. only done with chem and bio.
have to rush math and econs for the next 12 11 days

now i have a brand new 10 DAY PLAN!
see you after prelims

too much la

Below is what I posted on the facebook group “The Faithful & Grateful Sons of Victoria” – which is essentially a mass gathering of VS guys protesting for the sake of protesting. I felt very disgraced when Mr Chan the VJC principal actually took 30min off our school curriculum time to clarify some issues that VS guys have been accusing VJC of without proof and evidence. While VJC’s decision to submit a proposal to MOE regarding 6-year programme and bypassing VS, OVA, VEC/VAC in the process is not welcome, VS guys, alumni or students haven’t been mature enough, creating a facebook group which description sounds like we’re starting a riot, and publicly dissing VJC, is something more unwelcome and something that i’m really disgraced about.

First of all, the VJC principal has already clarified that the vs-vj affliation is still on. This shouldn’t be much of a concern anyway, if you really “dream of pursing JC education in the Victorian Path”, you should study hard and not count on affliation points.

Anyway, I believe the main concern is about VJC’s 6-year IP programme directly in competition to VS. It is definitely true that most parents would prefer a school that offers a through-train programme, but this is not going to affect VS much. PSLE results do not matter at all. “High-Calibre Students” with higher PSLE results may opt for VJC, but it is 4 years of education in Victoria School that produces true gentlemen, professionals and sportsmen of the highest calibre.

With the introduction of the IP programme, it may very well be a blessing in disguise for VS. Think about it: people who have the courage to speak up and go against the flow will be filtered into VS, and those weak “mummy boys” can just follow their parents’ will and opt for the IP programme. Also, assumming you were a P6 student, what would be more attractive to you? Guaranteed JC Level education and 6 years in a 25-year-old and tearing apart school compound, or a brand new 6-year-old VS school compound with ELEVATORS? : P

I quote my friend Hans, “VS just like to make noise la. we united in spirit but the voice is like canteen liddat, all chatterring away” Yes, it is very heartening to see thousands of Victorians uniting for a “cause”, changing their MSN nicknames, etc. But are we really tackling the issue, are we really solving this problem?

If VJC wants to break apart (which I believe they wouldn’t, breaking may mean a loss of the glamourous name of Victoria) just let it be. If VJC wants to start a 6-year programme, just let it be, you wouldn’t be able to do anything anyway. Being Victorians, I don’t think we should be protesting just for the sake of protesting, and I sincerely do not want this issue to be on the newspapers. Airing our dirty laundry in public isn’t very desirable for both schools anyway.

As a VJC student, I only have one burning question. How are you going to fit all 6 years of students into that tiny school compound? It is already so small to fit ~1800 JC students, and assembly is like a mass sauna. I don’t think VJC has the capacity (money, facilities and SPACE) to even start a 6-year programme.

NIL SINE LABORE.

Okay. Back to work. :/
WEIGHT WATCH: 74kg
PULLUP WATCH: 13

MAHAAHAHAHAUHAHAH

sometimes

It’s quite funny to watch guys trying to get close to a girl by posting on her wall… and she replies NO ONE. LOL fail birds.

Anyway, stalker mode off, and some stuff to post about.
Okay here goes, i was surfing bestgore.com (ok don’t ask me why, i just felt like looking at gore for some reason) and i chanced upon this video. It’s actually quite old (2003) but well, still recent, and shows that policemen are just a bunch of legalised criminals.

Suspect’s name was Deandre Brunston, he was 24 year old and lived in Compton, California. This killing took place on August 24, 2003 after Sherriff’s deputies of Los Angeles County received report on Deandre Brunston for domestic violence. He was not armed. All he had was a flip-flop shoe he found on the porch where he took refuge after pursuit. That’s what he tossed at the dog after K9 was released to get him. While negotiating with Sherriff’s deputies, Deandre Brunston told them he would put the gun down if he got a chance to call his girlfriend Fonda Brown.

The police at the scene called up Lieutenant Patrick Maxwell, head of K9 department who was drunk at a party during the standoff. Despite being drunk, Lieutenant Patrick Maxwell gave orders to release K9 police dog to override decision of Sgt. Earnest Burwell, K9 officer on site who refused to release the dog as it would have been out of policy release. Doggy was subsequently released by a rookie K9 officer and sent to run straight towards Deandre Brunston who threw his flip-flop at him. This prompted the LA County Sheriff’s Deputies to open fire. 81 rounds were fired within split of a second, killing both the dog and Deandre Brunston. K9 was then airlifted to a veterinary hospital by helicopter while Deandre Brunston was left there to bleed to death.

So here’s the video… but do take note that the actual shooting was captured in this video. If you cannot bear to see someone being gunned down for real, then please refrain from watching!!!

from wikipedia:
Deandra Brunston’s aunt, Keisha Brunston, brought a wrongful death lawsuit against the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department in response to the killing. They alleged the deputies could have easily prevented the death, were poorly trained in these situations and were ‘trigger-happy’. Charges against the deputies were dropped and the suit focussed on the supervisors and training. The judge ruled that suit could still charge against the animal’s handler and supervisors including civil rights violations, false arrest and “negligent hiring, training and supervision.” An order to release the police dog was allegedly given over a phone from an off-duty supervisor, who had been drinking. The family’s attourney noted that the officers present seemed to act in haste as a crisis team with a trained negotiator was on route to the scene and would have determined the young man was bluffing. The family later settled with the county for $340,000 in March 2006. Brunston’s mother, Brenda Gaines, was awarded $122,500 with his three children also receiving sums. The county also was ordered to pay $105,000 in legal fees. Several deputies were also given two-to-five day suspensions for shooting when not designated as on-site shooters.

I wonder what did they do to the drunk officer who passed the order. I doubt nothing harsh was done. How can he give orders when he’s drunk!? But still, it was clearly evident that the deputies were so ‘trigger-happy’ and brutally slayed the unarmed man. 81 rounds! Even the dog was killed! Why do you need to fire 81 rounds for a guy who was reported to have committed DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?! I hope the SPF isn’t like that :/

Time to sleep, and calm down.

fail bird

I failed GP.
41% [S]
24/50 for paper one, 17/50 for paper two
43% after moderation

and i’m the only person who failed in my class

I don’t think i deserve to be depressed, because it’s largely my fault that i didn’t do well for GP. I simply haven’t been putting the effort. It’s as though i’ve been plotting my failure for GP. I didn’t bother to write counterpoints in my essay, neither did i bother to paraphrase my summary. The only thing i was actually confident about was my AQ: which yielded a grand total of 2 marks. -_- My comprehension paper was full of “lifted”s scribbled in red. Composition, although better, isn’t well done, i quote the marker, “Lacking in mature arguments. A series of high-sounding statements in place of arguments.)

Remember the 100 Day Movement? Today’s Day 69. Got to put in the effort for GP!!! I just dug out my Kaleidoscope, and the ancient bright red VS EL resource book. The VS ELRB is really really really damn good. I need to improve on my vocabulary, time to mug Roget’s. I’m also thinking of “spotting” questions. Maybe i should specifically read up on Education, Environment, maybe Religion… so that i’ll have sufficient examples to vomit when the time comes? Who thinks this is a good idea? Any other tips?

On a slightly brighter note…

I’m quite satisfied with revision so far. For bio, i finished J1 syllabus! and did 2 promos practice papers! For chem, i think i should be finishing most of physical chem and inorganic chem by the end of this week

…and (finally) conclusion to Common Test Two: D-E-B-E-S (bcme, gp) hahaha i’m debes! (the best)
Happy with bio, definitely. There’s hope for math too. Econs… expected it. While chem and GP were…
Time to set aims for prelims! ABACD !!!

no more fail bird anymore man, and i quote dolanmin, “serious dogs”.

WEIGHT WATCH

76kg.

DIE.

baik

I got D for bio! WOOHOO damn happy. This gives me more motivation to work hard.

Still, stupid mistakes are still prevalent in my STQs.
“Hence, regular injections of insulin is required to break down excess glucose…”
“Glucose being taken up is dephosphorylated by glucokinase“

LOL break down glucose = FAIL
and kinases adds phosphate groups… never dephosphorylates

“Avian influenza virus which originally are only adapted to birds have undergo mutagenic shift, which causes new forms of receptors on virus which are able to evade immune systems of humans hence, the new form can now infect humans”

MUTAGENIC LOL some new word. Supposed to be antigenic shift -_-
Are those called receptors? I think its more like glycoproteins x_x

OH WELL. Anyways i’m still quite happy with my bio results. Highest score EVER in JC life. woooooohoooo!
Here’s a song for all ya (humsup) guys…

HUSH HUSH BY THE PUSSYCAT DOLLSSSSS
lol okay not pcd themselves. this is a nicely done acoustic cover. i love the strumming pattern and harmonising.
very very guuuuuuus. enjoy

Day 51

Since 3 days ago when i said i wanted to study, all i did was pack up my entire room, file my stuff and list down the chapters for every subject. What the hell man, i’m beginning to feel pissed with myself. Everyone’s getting A here and there, and i haven’t got any. All i got is a bloody B. and it’s math, when almost every tom dick and harry are scoring As.

I keep saying i want to study medicine, be a doctor all these shit, and it’s all TALK no work. I bloody got B for my PW, and C for my chinese. and my sucky T3A that’s worthless? I just read kayfong’s blog, and i quote, “No such thing as a free lunch in this world. Work hard for what you want”

That struck me. I’m not going to let everyone overtake me and i remain at status quo. Times up, no more slacking. If i want to be a doctor, then i got to fucking work for it.

49 days left to prove my movement succeeded.
114 days to A’s. 4 As.

Day 48

Still remember the 100 day movement? Well it’s already Day 48.

So CT2s are over for almost a week now.
So far only bio MCQ and chem paper received. maybe there’ll be math tomorrow.
So far i’m not too happy with my results, even though i passed. I’ve go so much things to catch up man.
52 days left to my movement, i must get 2-3 As in prelims. MUST. I need to start working damnit.

Hopefully math A this time. B also can luh.
Next time (prelims) cannot hope already. Must CONFIDENT A.

here and now

What majesty, what mystery,
the God of all eternity
Stepped into time and gave His life for me
Your hand is seen in galaxies,
yet Your spirit dwells in me
So vast and yet You’re still within our reach

Here and now, here in this moment
Here and now, i turn to You
All that my searching heart has longed for can be found
‘Cause You’re in this moment,
Here and now.

—

After a going in circles, searching for fun, pleasure, happiness, finding it and then losing it, getting discouraged, spiralling downwards in terms of faith, and then almost completely denouncing my faith, falling to sin, i’m just relieved, and some part of me amused, how i have been going in circles screaming where is God, when he has been right beside me all the time. all the time, guiding me along, even when i have strayed.

I don’t want to ever do this again.

top searches

WordPress actually tracks google searches to my blog. Look at what I found.

Search	Views
vjc t3a	4
o levels +history questions 2008	1
daym musicfest vjc	1
mjc floorball 21	1
“toh” + choir + terrence	1
anderson junior college choir audition	1
vjc choir	1
leo vj floorball	1
t3a hwa chong junior colleges samples	1
vjc vball girls	1
vjc floorball	1
go to hougang gym	1
mjc h1n1 maths	1

Horrific. So many stalkers using google. Worse still, so many stupid stalkers. What does mjc, h1n1 and math got to do with each other. And since when Leo’s in floorball? HMM. Why got choir searches landing at my blog? hmm ANDERSON JC somemore LOL. >_>

Back to kinetics

countdown.

I haven’t had the mood to post recently X_X

So yeah it’s start of school. Went to school on monday, attended some lessons, played CS at V23 which is kinda empty these days. Tuesday was damn boring, so i left at 12.30. Today, i didn’t even go to school. Well, at least i’m done with organic chemistry. Start the countdown to CT2s man, even though i’m almost finishing revision, i’m still not very positive about exams man. Perhaps its what they call, once bitten twice shy, i studied hell lot last year (ok, not hell lot, but quite a bit) and i got really sucky scores. Feeling really demoralised now.

Adding on to the demoralisation is my T3A. Okay, actually i already have all 3 settled. but i feel it’s still kinda pathetic. maybe i should have been more active in school, maybe i shouldn’t have given up on floorball. i don’t really want to think about it but somehow it just creeps into my head like some parasite.

Why am i hitting a low now, immediately after i’ve just got out of the pits? Sian. I really despise myself for being unable to control my life and emotions. Look on the bright side, why can’t I? *i just flushed a bloody fly down the toilet* OK back.

ok i lost the emo flow.

Study hard, and I must keep away from MSN or facebook next week because I know some people (i’m not naming anyone, joel and damien) will laugh at me for still having exams. Well my fault mainly, for laughing at them last week for not having 1 week extension I think I’ll take 2 more days to complete everything for CT2s discipline is needed!

I’ve got your picture in my wallet, and your
Phone number to call it, and I miss you more,
Whenever I think about you,. I’ve got
Your mixed tape in my Walkman, been so
Long since we’ve been talkin’ and in a few
More days, we’ll both hook up, forever and ever

(not trying to emo, but i think these lyrics are really poorly written. :/ FM Static – Moment of Truth)

OH edit edit: my itunes playlist just hit 3000! woothoot. random -_-